The Valley News

1st Round Olympic Trophy Stableford 25/07/2015

I apologize for missing the last couple of weeks but I have had a few family problems that have taken precedence

Winners of Golf, Wine Draw & Raffle

A Grade

Winner Derrik Farr(12)   =   37

R/Up Col Anderson(6)   =   34

B Grade

Winner Andrew Thompson(15)  =  34

R/Up  Bruce Wills(19)   =   34

C Grade

Winner  Paul Dennett(23)   =  38

R Up Matt Hamill(20)   =    33

 Ball Winners

Rob Di Virgilio      =    33

Bruce McLerie    =   33

Matt Lever     =   32

Wally Galpin     =   32

Brendan Anderson    =   32

Tony Di Corrado    =    31

Neil Dennett    =   31

Peter Le Beouf      =   31

Dave Ballingall     =    31

Graeme Danson     =    31

Nearest the Pins

2nd Hole   =   Ted Galloway

6th hole   =    David Ballingall

12th Hole  =  Tony Di Corrado

13th Hole   =   Jimmy Rogers

Super Pin

Winner on the 4th Hole Jay Di Virgilio

Wine Draw

 Winner Jayde Herrick  5 Bottles

Raffle & Norm`s Ramblings

Just think, here we are, in July, with just one more week of this month to go, and then a follow-up of two weeks in August before the nicer weather patterns start to flow. Isn’t that a nice thought? Three weeks to go before we start to get the warmer spring days, and the return (I think) of Barry the Bandit! We hear he’s been fuming about the huge run of success being enjoyed by Bob Cleary, and cannot wait to return to clean him up in a series of challenge rounds. Barry regards the fourth hole as his private domain, and kicks himself often that he failed to bid for it in the recent auction for naming golf holes. Can you just imagine the names he would have considered? Barry’s Bolt Hole. The Bandit’s Money Bin. Go, Greasy Armpits. Go Barry! No Play Without Owner’s Permission! Buzz off Cleary. Guest Losers Only. Compulsory Donation Here. Yes, the auction gives the winning bidders exclusive rights to their tees for twelve months. Think of the possibilities.

The latest raffle was conducted as usual, except when yours truly squibs the weather. First Cliffex meat tray was won by Bob Cleary. Not only is he shooting through with all the mid-week proceeds, but he’s now muscling in on the raffle. This must stop, even though it’s the first time he’s won a prize. Second meat tray went to Renato Urlus. Renato, as most know, is a retiring sort of chap. Quiet, unassuming, hard to notice at times, but always the gentleman. I must say I got quite a surprise yesterday when I saw him playing his third shot to the 18th, muffing it, and then belting his club on the ground, nearly burying it. At least he did not break the club, as did Alan Sole and Munzie during their rounds. Alan’s broke clean in half off the 8th tee, and the bottom half hurtled nearly to the end of the cyclone fence. Where the ball went nobody knows. I’m told that Munzie sort of fell on his, or maybe stood on it in some bizarre occurrence which delighted fellow players Matt Hairwrack and David Bellyball. Munzie scored the Crown Lager six-pack as consolation.

One of our oldest ex-members is on his deathbed and knows the end is near. He requests anonymity, so we respect that request. His nurse, his wife, his daughter and two sons are with him. He asks for two witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he begins to speak: “To my son, Bernie, I want you to take over the Mount Martha houses. To my daughter, Sybil, you take the apartments in Dromana. To my son, Jamie, I want you to take over the offices in the Rosebud factory area. To Sarah, my dear wife, please take over all the Sorrento shopping strip.” The nurse and witnesses are blown away, never knowing the extent of his property holdings, and as he slips away, the nurse turns to the wife and says: “Your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all this wealth.” The wife replies: “Wealth? What wealth? The old bugger had a bloody paper round!”

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