The Valley News

March Monthly Medal Stroke 07/03/2015

Results of Golf, Wine Draw  & Raffle

March Medal Winner

Steve Lay(17)   =   63

A Grade

Winner  Matt Lever(8)    =   64

R/Up  Rob Di Virgilio(14)   =  65

B Grade

Winner  Steve Lay(17)   =   63

R/Up  Jay Di Virgilio(15)   =   65

C Grade

Winner  Neil Fredricson(22)   =  67

R/Up  Jeff Harmer(28)  =  68

Ball Winners

Mike Jackson  =  67

Harry Carter   =  67

Matt Dunstan   =   67

Tony De Corrado   =  68

Mark Newsome   =   68

Geoff Hammill  =  69

Bruce McLerie  =   69

Bruce Wills   =   69

John Roach   =   69

Emilio Lbrand   =   69

Peter Le Beouf   =   69

Frank McAleer   =   69

Alan Davies   =   70

Putting

Rob Di Virgilio with 25 Putts

Nearest the Pins

2nd Hole   =  Paul Dennett

9th Hole  =  Tony De Corrado

13th Hole   =   Jeff Harmer

17th Hole   =   Mike Jackson

Super Pin 4th Hole

Winner Matt Lever 

Wine Draw

????????

Raffle & Norm`s Ramblings

Apologies are due once again for another non-raffle. The Raffle Captain had to make a Captain’s Call, not only on not playing golf, but also on denying all those trembling gamblers a chance to win meat trays or beer. I know it’s a weak excuse, but eye surgery had to come before other less important things, and last week I did warn the late afternoon players that I probably would have to cancel this week. Hopefully. all will return to normal next week.

Since our latest Golf Club Syllabus came out into fresh air, we’ve been trying to solve the mystery of the missing “i”. We find that James (sic) Rogers is still labelled with the incorrect title of Junior Liason. As a pedant on titles, grammar and spelling I must say that this word “Liason” would have to be pronounced “lya-son”. No, we will not enter into any argument here. For example I will direct you to “liar”, “Siam” and “viagra”. This is how the three letters should be pronounced. I am quite prepared to compromise on this subject. First of all, we would like to see the more friendly use of “Jimmy” in the said title (in the syllabus), but we insist that the title be changed to the correct version Junior “Liaison”. I will keep an eye (“i”) out for a more correct title in future editions of the Golf Club Syllabus.

We hear that Barry the Bandit has headed up to Sydney for a couple of weeks. What others may not be aware of is that he will be in Sydney for the annual Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras. It is rumoured that his privately affiliated group of friends, the Greasy Armpits Motor Cycle Club, are entering their own float in the parade, and that the Bandit will be the figurehead on the front of their float. Further leaks say that a Carmen Miranda costume valued at many thousands of dollars has been hired for the event, and has been paid for by the Bandit himself out of pro-comp winnings and lost golf ball sales.

50 SHADES OF GOLF
In the meantime, four guys have been going on the same golfing trip to St Andrews for
many years.  Two days before the group is to leave, Jack’s wife puts
her foot down and tells him he isn’t going.  Jack’s mates are very upset
that he can’t go, but what can they do.

Two days later, the three get to St Andrews only to find Jack sitting
at the bar with four drinks set up!  “Wow, Jack, how long you been
here, and how did you talk your missus into letting you go?”

“Well, I’ve been here since last night.  Yesterday evening, I
was sitting in my living room chair and my wife came up behind
me and put her hands over my eyes and asked, ‘Guess who?'”

I pulled her hands off, and there she was, wearing a nightie.
She took my hand and pulled me into our bedroom.  The room
had candles and rose petals all over.  Well, she’s been reading
50 Shades of Grey.

   On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes!
   She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did.
   And then she said, “Do whatever you want.”

   So…  Here I am!

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