WHY NO RAFFLE?
Well, that’s an easy question to answer. It’s like asking where were all the golfers on Saturday? Or how many players whimped, just like I did? Or why doesn’t the club have tables set up with trivia questions, or chess and draughts boards, or Monopoly when the wind howls and the rain squalls pelt down? No folks! It just won’t happen with this sort of weather, when I can look out my back window on a Saturday morning and see a grand total of three pairs of golfers pass me by. It just doesn’t make a raffle worthwhile, nor does it inspire me to count out party pies or sausage rolls to suit those I do observe. I do think those particular golfers may have been green fee players. You know the sort. Been working all week, planned to have a game on Saturday morning, and hell and high water will NOT be stopping us. Nothing much to talk about, except the three ladies last Tuesday who got caught up in heavy rain outside our place, saw our sign saying “No! Not here! Try next door!” and finally managed to struggle into the house next door for shelter. They were too wet, and my wife would have made me sponge the floors for 24 hours to dry them out. The floors, not the lady golfers.
I think the following is worth your consideration:
80,000 Collingwood Fans met at the MCG for a “Collingwood Fans Are Not Stupid” Convention.
Eddie says: “We are all here today to prove to the world that Collingwood fans are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?”
Dane Swan gingerly works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.
Eddie asks him: “What is fifteen plus fifteen?”
After 15 or 20 seconds Swan says, “Eighteen!”
Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then all 80,000 Collingwood Fans start chanting “GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!”
Eddie says: “Well, since we’ve gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, I think we can give him another chance.”So he asks: “What is seven plus seven?”
After nearly 30 seconds Swan eventually says, “Ninety!”
Eddie is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh – everyone is disheartened. Swanny starts crying and the 80,000 Collingwood fans begin to yell and wave their hands shouting “GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!”
Eddie, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says: “OK! OK! Just one more chance…What is two plus two?”
Swanny closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says: “Four!”
Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 Collingwood fans jump to their feet, wave their arms, stamp their feet and scream…
“GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!”